


Resurrecting Redmane

by Vespertine



Category: Iron Man (Movies)
Genre: Background on Tony Stark's childhood, Canon up till end of IM2, Challenge Response, F/M, Family History, Fantasy, Howard and Maria Stark, Magic fic, Main character is turned into an animal, Romance, WIP
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2012-04-18
Updated: 2012-04-27
Packaged: 2017-11-03 21:28:05
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 7,446
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/386147
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Vespertine/pseuds/Vespertine
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Tony and Pepper find an old pendant that had belonged to Maria Stark, which triggers an unexpected series of events neither could have imagined.<br/>Before Tony knows it, he is facing both the most painful memories of his childhood, and one of his greatest fears. Though it's Pepper who pays the price, it may just be Tony who needs saving.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Part One

** PART ONE **

 

Tony rifled through the contents of the antique wooden jewellery box, a pensive look on his face. All of the jewellery inside had belonged to his mother, and they were rare, tasteful, and priceless pieces, all dating back to one era or other.

Pepper came back from the kitchen and placed his tea on the coffee table, settling on the sofa with her side flush against his. She sipped at her own tea, and leaned her head on his shoulder, stroking his knee with her free hand.

“Found what you’re looking for, yet?” Tony sighed and briefly squeezed her hand, his steaming cup still untouched.

“Not yet. My mother had numerous cases like this one, and she was so organised that she’d put them together in order of style and era. This is one of the older collections, and while they may be less flashy, they’re…worth a lot.” Pepper turned to look at him. His mouth had taken on a gentle turn, and his eyes shined with remembrance.

Tony seldom spoke of his parents, most of all his mother, but she sensed a great deal in his emotions regarding her. He didn’t say it, but Pepper was sure that Tony had adored his mother through and through – all the more so because of the conflicting relationship he’d had with his father. So she knew that when he talked about ‘worth’, he didn’t necessarily mean the monetary kind. What a can of worms lay there, she thought.

“Well, have you looked at the other boxes yet? If you describe what you’re looking for, I’ll help you search.” She stroked his knee again and pressed her lips against his bicep. Tony was soaking it all up like a sponge. Despite their contrasting natures – he being a very physical person, she avoiding all unnecessary contact like the plague – the energy they had between each other was special and unique all on its own, compared to the relationships (or lack thereof) they’d had in the past. Growing comfortable with each other had taken time, but it was so natural. One touch from her, when he was ill, when he was being fractious and difficult, when they were making love, and his skin seemed to sing. Sometimes, when he wasn’t well, she stroked his brow and ran gentle fingers through his hair; this choked him up as much as it made him purr, because his mother had used to stroke him in just that way, soothing him through every fever, every tummy ache.

Pepper was the only woman he had cared for so deeply in all his life, apart from his mother, but that had been a different kind of love. He did not regard Pepper as a substitute-maternal figure at all. No. That was a completely different fire.

 

Silently, he took one more jewellery box out of the chest lying open on the floor and handed it to her. She smiled at him as she took it and settled down more comfortably onto his side, balancing the box carefully on her knees. As she carefully sifted through the contents, there was one piece that immediately caught her eye, in light of its difference when compared to the other objects. Curiously, Pepper picked it up and inspected it in the light, turning it every which way to study it.

“Whatcha got there?” Tony leaned in and looked at the piece in her hands. Pepper glanced at him briefly. “This one is different to the others inside the box. They all have pearls except for this one, look.” Tony took held it up to the light. It was a pendant that was very, very old by the looks of it. It was made of a metal that he couldn’t immediately identify, but which gleamed in the light despite its grimy appearance. Pepper handed him the soft cloth she’d dipped inside the cleaning jar, and he carefully cleaned the surface of the pendant.

“Did your mother like horses?” Tony was startled by her words for a second. “Why do you ask?” Pepper smiled at him patiently. “The pendant is the figure of a woman riding a horse.”

“Oh. Yeah … Yeah, she did. She loved the smelly beasts.” Pepper frowned. And he’d seen that look before, on another’s face. Uh-oh … here was another horse-lover, he thought. “Horses are very noble, ancient animals, you know.” Yep. Definitely a horse-lover. Hmmph.

Tony grunted, staring at the pendant in his hands. He didn’t look at all convinced. “Do you know anything about this pendant?” Tony shook his head. He barely remembered her wearing it when he was a child, but his mother had loved horses with the same passion he loved his cars. It was puzzling. “I think it was definitely handed down to my mother through her side of the family; the Starks have never been great fans of horses, not since my great-great-grandfather.” Pepper frowned pensively. “Well it must have been of great sentimental value to her then, because the only worthy thing about it otherwise is that it is very, very old. I think it might be well into its hundred years of age.” Tony looked amusedly at her.

“Is that another skill you’ve kept hidden from me all this time? You’re a jewellery connoisseuse?” Pepper scrunched her nose, mischief gleaming in her bright eyes. “No latent connoisseuse skill; just an ability to estimate how old things like this must be, just by design. I went through a stage in my teens where I was sure I would become a jewellery designer when I was older. I’d pore over books and books of ancient and modern jewellery alike, replicating the designs on paper and plastering them all over my room.” Tony blinked, trying to imagine the teen Pepper, all bright, thick hair and the long-limbed slenderness models in their twenties would have killed to have. She’d have a ponytail, and be neatly dressed, tucked away in her room drawing designs of necklaces and bracelets and pendants, tacking them onto her walls and surveying her work with that quirky twist to those kissable lips, as she decided whether she was satisfied with the results or not.

His eyes twinkled as he embraced her close to his chest, inhaling her flowery aroma. “I can just imagine you as a teenager, all lissom curves, and bright hair, diligently working through your imagination until your mother had to come in and force you to go to bed.”

Pepper smirked superiorly at him, her eyes revealing the fact that she was jesting. “I think that description is more apt in regards to you, Tony. I always went to bed early on school nights so that I’d wake up refreshed and ready to take on the hardships of high school. I never needed my mother to come tear me away from my drawings for dinner or to get a shower.” Tony narrowed his eyes playfully and drew his lips along the velvety column of her throat, humming.

“Is that right? You were a good little girl, weren’t you? Never needed to be grounded or sent to bed without dessert, because your behaviour was irreprehensible even as a young lady? Not even an ickle speck of rebellion in those dreamy teens of yours?”

Pepper squeaked as his beard scraped her skin, feeling the warmth and rush of desire that inevitably followed whenever he touched her like this. She tamped it down. “I was a rebellious child, but by the time I turned adolescent I’d already learned how to be responsible and level-headed.”

Tony nibbled lightly on the spot under her ear, and delighted in her squeak and in the way her body squirmed deliciously against him. “Whereas I was a terror up until my father shipped me to boarding school. He was probably relieved to have someone else deal with me.” They now lay back against the cushions, sweetly tangled in each other’s embrace, basking in this rare moment of peace in their hectic lives. “And your mother?” Tony hummed, stroking her hip and the contours of her flank, his fingers light, but knowing.

“She wasn’t so pleased. She’d write to me every week, and at first I wouldn’t write back because I thought I could punish my father for sending me away. Then I found out he kept tabs on me through the principal and my tutor, so … my correspondence with my mother was frequent, and I always replied to her letters within two days of receiving them.” Pepper sensed that he wasn’t telling her everything. “You missed her, didn’t you?” Tony remained silent for a moment, and she knew how difficult it was for him to talk about these subjects, his childhood and his parents. She was patient and understanding, though. If he’d tell her something, she’d let him do it in his own time, and in his own way.

“She loved me. She loved me, and never tried to hide it. In a way, I think she was trying to make up for my father’s shortcomings, but I … well… I loved her, too. She understood me in ways no one else seemed to be capable of. She would tell me stories of her childhood sometimes. She grew up on a vineyard in Italy, the only daughter of a wealthy man. The differences between her and my dad were staggering sometimes. She had a way of… I dunno, reaching out towards others, like she just knew how to connect with you. My father, and his side of the family in general, were much more … austere. You know, much more reserved and restrained.”

That’s what Tony recalled most vividly about Maria. She’d been so vital, and inartificial, good to the people she held close, and generous to those who needed it. But perhaps that had been the case because she was much younger than Howard. He suspected it had more to do with her upbringing and her family, for they’d brought her up that way, extrovert and free. The Bardi’s had only had one daughter, and they’d spoiled her rotten, but still she retained a steely core of morals that put everyone else’s to shame. His father had had two brothers, both older than him, but Tony didn’t know how close they’d been, because he’d never met them.

When he’d been sent to boarding school, the thing that hurt him most was that his father was shunning him once more, and taking him away from his beloved mother, who was the only one who had understood him, and who loved him without reservations, who was the constant rock and source of comfort in his life. She’d never told him, but he suspected that this had caused a fissure in his parents’ marriage, one that had never found healing.

Maybe his father was jealous. Maybe he was jealous of the easy affection and ardent love between him and his mother. As a kid he’d thought Howard jealous of Maria devoting more time to Tony than to himself, but now he realised his old man had been jealous, if at all, of the relationship between Tony and his mother, because Howard himself wasn’t capable of getting so close on the same level to his son as Maria.

His father had grown up used to living with an austere and restrictive family, in a less-than-affectionate environment, and he probably hadn’t wanted his only son to grow up spoiled and unrestrained the way Maria wanted. No, not Tony. Tony had to become great, had to develop and nurture his talent right from the go, because a mind like his could do great things for the future.

Howard probably hadn’t realised he was taking Tony’s childhood away from him. And that, his mother could not forgive.

 

He was brought out of his reverie as Pepper picked up the pendant again and fingered the relief on the surface. It was of excellent craftsmanship, and the beauty of the woman’s face was truly exquisite. “I never could understand why my mother loved the damned beasts so much. As far as I’m concerned, all they’re good for is to stink up the place and drop enormous heaps of dung everywhere. My mother used to take me to this private estate of hers when I was a child. Dad would be too busy with the company and his work, so we’d go up to Apronian House in the weekend, where she had her own stable and three horses. There, she’d ride and ride to her heart’s content, and she always encouraged me to share her passion for horses, but I never went near ‘em.”

Pepper nuzzled his jaw with the tip of her nose and pressed her lips beneath it. Tony almost – almost – purred. There was always a conflict within him. Thanks to his mother’s upbringing, Tony liked physical contact, but experiences with his father had taught him that it was more desirable for a man to not be so touchy-feely and that aspiring to have a certain level of aloofness was what got you approval. But Pepper … she had a way about her that made him want the physical contact more than he generally did, made him crave and long for it. Plus, he knew that her own nature tended to make her shy away; Pepper wasn’t the cuddly and clingy type. She just knew him well enough to realise when he needed affection, petting him almost like she did her cat, when she sensed it would do him good.

“Did you have a bad experience with a horse, or did you just not like them on a much more basic level?” She was curious as to his strong aversion of horses. It didn’t sound like mere disgust and indifference; he sounded like he tried to be flippant about something that secretly upset him a great deal.

 

“Well … there was this one time, but…I mean, it was so long ago, but for some reason it just – stuck with me … I was er, perhaps four years old, and mother had bought this little … pony, for me to ride, and I truly loved it, because at that time I wanted nothing more than to copy what she did. She looked amazing on a horse, it was like the animal was just an extension of her will, and the two understood each other perfectly. Anyway, I mounted the pony and had fun walking around with her hanging onto the reins from astride her own mount, but then … I think my father was truly scared of horses. When he came out of the house, he yelled at us, wanting me to get off the pony, and it spooked him badly. All I could was to hold on to the pony’s mane as he shot off away from my mother’s horse and started down the field. I managed to hold onto that horse for two minutes, I think, before I got so scared that I stiffened up, and … next thing I knew, my father was bending over me, and I was on the ground – I remember thinking that I didn’t like the noises my mother was making, because they meant she was sad and scared … so… right?”

 

Pepper looked at him solemnly and nodded her understanding. It went without saying that that was the last time he ever mounted a horse. In a way, it didn’t surprise her that Tony got his aversion/fear of horses from his father.

 

Tony thought back to the time Howard – and this was very rare – spoke to him, telling him that when his mother was pregnant with him, she still rode her horses for the first few months, and that he was very angry with her for doing it because he was afraid for her and their baby’s safety. Again, the age gap between Howard and Maria seemed to become more prominent, because she was young and carefree and just wanted to ride, whereas he was older and much more restrained, and feared she’d get hurt. He supposed Howard’s thinking was right, it could be dangerous for a pregnant woman to ride a horse, but then his mother had never liked anyone telling her what she couldn’t do. Tony was like her in that respect, too.

He looked down at the pendant again. He seemed to recall something about his mother always wearing the pendant when she rode her horses because she thought it would protect her and give the horse peace when they galloped. And just like that, he was angry. He tossed the pendant back onto the coffee table, where it landed with a dull chink, but he didn’t care. All this remembrance was hurting him. He was tired of it. “My mother used to believe that the pendant would protect her when she was riding, so she always put it on. My father knew better than to tell her she shouldn’t ride so recklessly, but she knew he disapproved. When I was younger, it’d be fun to do things with her we knew Dad wouldn’t approve of, just to rile him up. But when I got older, I could see that in a way he was right, because she was reckless when she rode on the damn things. They-“

Tony couldn’t speak past the tennis ball in his throat, and tried to swallow down the constricting feeling.

 

And suddenly Pepper knew. Her heart constricted too. “What happened to your mother, Tony? Did she hurt herself whilst riding?”

 

Tony was silent for a moment, but she already knew that what he was about to tell her wouldn’t be good. When he spoke, his tone was low and spoke of pain, and deep resentment.

“No, she didn’t get hurt whilst riding. They both had an accident. The same one that killed them.” His eyes stung bitterly as he tried to stop the tears from falling. His hands unconsciously clenched into fists and he stared down at his lap. Pepper’s heart ached with sorrow as she watched him. Tony had never truly accepted his parents’ death. But it was only now that she began to understand better, and glimpse at the boy that still lurked within him. And she could see the devastation, the rage, the pain, that accompanied that boy. It was all festering inside him.

 

“It was stormy when it happened. They’d had another fight, of that I was sure, because she only ever went back to Apronian House when she needed to cool off from a fight with Dad. Her horses were the only thing that soothed her. But she shouldn’t have been driving, because the roads were in bad condition, and it was pouring torrents form the sky. That’s where she was going. To her horses. I was away at college. I was seventeen years old, and full of charm and felt like the world was laid at my feet. She wanted me to come home that weekend, but I didn’t want anything to do with that…it would just mean her with the horses, my father riding my ass about term-papers, and I didn’t want any of it.”

So Maria had accused Howard of making Tony want to stay away from his own family. Tony knew this, because she’d phoned him that afternoon, crying, and telling him that she knew he didn’t want to come home because of his father, and she was pleading with him because she wanted to see him, and they were his family, and-

 

His stomach twisted as he remembered, and guessed at what must have happened next.

Maria accused Howard of being the reason their son didn’t want to come home. Howard must have probably shrugged in cold indifference, immersed as he must have been in semester reports, blue prints, and fifty-year old scotch. She must have worked herself up into quite a state. Tony found this the hardest to accept now, years after their deaths. He had become a selfish little prick, and hadn’t wanted to see how much his distance was hurting his mother – Tony, who had been the apple of his mother’s eyes. Then they probably argued, until Maria told Howard that she was leaving. Howard tended to become more resentful in his barbs when he was drinking, so he must have said something about her going back to her precious smelly beasts. And then Maria must have sped off into the dark rainy night, intent on reaching that haven of peace for her that Apronian House, where she had her grounds, and her horses, and could be content, at peace. His father obviously followed her in another of their cars, and the angered chase had resulted in the tragedy that had left Tony an orphaned, bitterly devastated young man.

 

So yeah, he didn’t like horses. He blamed his mother for going out at all that night. She had promised him, promised him, that she would always be there. But she’d left him. And his father … this was bitterest of all, because it was Howard that had driven Maria away into the storm that night. Whatever his conflicting emotions on the days straight after their deaths, Tony’s hatred for the horses had intensified. Before Obie found out about it, Tony took his father’s gun from his study. Then he drove over to Apronian House and there … he shot to death the last remaining things of his mother that still lived.

 

And after the rage had dissipated, Tony had been so ashamed of what he’d done, that he shut up Apronian House for good, and never returned to it again. Those horses … she had loved those horses so, so much … and in the end her own son had killed them.

“For all I care, horses could rot in hell. I don’t want them anywhere near me, not now, not ever. They are vile, useless animals that are of no use to anyone. If a great ball of fire would drop down from the sky and decimate them all, I’d say good fucking riddance.” Sometimes, instead of carrying the burden that comes with feeling shame, it is easier to remove the guilt in the first place, to remove the cause for the pain.

 

* * *

Far, far away, into another realm of reality, the goddess protector and patroness of horses, Epona, heard Tony Stark utter the vile oath. The pendant had special qualities that enabled her to look down upon the owner, and bless them if they deserved it.

But Tony Stark did not deserve her blessing. And in that moment, she uttered an oath of her own. Tony Stark never wanted horses to go near him, did he? He would rejoice at their extinction, would he? Epona frowned stormily, already setting the plan into motion. She would teach this puny human to respect that most noble of creatures to walk the earth. Let’s see how turning his beloved lover into the creature he reviled affected him.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The reality is even harsher than the dream.

**PART TWO**

**  
**

Pepper sat momentarily stunned at the vicious quality of Tony’s voice. She knew and understood the crippling pain he felt, and tried to just write it off as something one would say when they’re angry. But she couldn’t. She loved him too much to allow him to do that to himself.

“Tony-“ He cut her off and moved away from her, rising onto his feet. His back was turned to her and he wouldn’t look at her face. “Look, we’ve been sitting here gossiping like a pair of old ladies who have nothing better to look forward to than a run-in with their favourite soap opera, so let’s just get this done.”

 

Pepper squashed the hurt down. He knew she would not approve of his behaviour, but despite being in a relationship, Tony still reverted back to doing things now and again that he knew she wouldn’t like. Right now all he cared about was his own agenda.

She rose, intent on leaving the room before it steeped into a fight – she so didn’t want a fight – and smoothed her hands down her legs, a nervous habit of hers. She looked at the offending pendant laying beseechingly on the table, and reacted out of instinct when she noticed his large hand inching toward it. She got the sudden image of him – and it was irrational, really – taking the pendant and throwing it away in his anger, never sparing a look or chance towards it. Tony could be so cutting in his anger when it was fuelled by pain; and it would all return onto himself to hurt him more. She knew that if she allowed him to throw away a thing his mother had treasured so much, she would be hating herself for a long time. Being Tony also entailed doing what she knew he wouldn’t like but that was for his own good.

She snatched the pendant off the table and cradled it protectively in her hand, the metal warm from being exposed to direct sunlight. It was a surprisingly heavy feel in her small hand, and she caught herself wondering what it would feel like to have this dangling from her neck.

 

“Tony, don’t! I can’t let you do this!”

Tony looked at her in astonishment. “What?”

Pepper looked at him in wariness, but her stance held strength. “I know you’re very angry about what happened, and you have every entitlement to your feelings, but if you throw this away, you will never forgive yourself. And I will never forgive myself for letting you.”

Tony regarded her steadily, and she got the distinct impression that he was wondering about her sanity. “What the hell are you talking about? I wasn’t going to throw it away!”

 

Pepper stood still for a moment.

The pinking of her skin was unmistakeable as it heated her face. How embarrassing. Tony looked at her highly amused, but his smile was also tinged with affection. “Did you think I was picking it up to throw it away? Pepper, that is a family heirloom that has been in my mother’s family for god-knows how many generations – and most importantly, it was beloved by my mother. I wouldn’t throw it away!”

 

She regarded him dubiously, because he sounded just a little too cajoling. Come on, give it to me, I’m not gonna do anything to it, I swear. Yeah right. Why else would you want it? To pet it?

She stiffened her shoulders and stuck her righteous nose up in the air, regarding him loftily, a beacon of morality. “Good. Then you won’t mind if I hang onto it, do you? Just for a little while. I think I’m going to wear it, too.”

Tony clearly thought she’d lost her mind, but found it rightly prudent to not laugh at her absurdity.

“Of course. By all means, hang onto it. I think I’d very much like to see it on you, actually. There’s plenty more where that came from, so you can have it, if you want.”

Oh, that was low. After all this time, he still thinks he can challenge her – and _win_?

Fine. If that’s how he wanted it.

She spoke coolly, her eyes matching her voice, trying to call his bluff. Tony could never gamble very well without his sunglasses hiding his far-too expressive eyes. What, you thought he wore them playing poker and at the casinos because it made him look cool? Snort.

 

“Very well then. I’m glad we have this matter settled. I need to make a few phone calls.”

And with that she pivoted on her heel and left the room, her head held high and her spine straight – but not stiff. Tony shook his head wryly, feeling like he’d just been had, but couldn’t for the life of him figure out how.

 

Life with Pepper was exciting and completed him in a way nothing else ever had. She still kept him dancing on his toes, and he always enjoyed challenging her, she made it fun. But he didn’t like arguing with her, not really. He knew firsthand the disjointed sense of being lost whenever she’d left him. Case in point, when he’d purposefully driven her away on his birthday because he was dying, only to find out there was hope after all, he hadn’t speeded his way back to her like a homing pigeon because he needed to have her fix things for him. That was just the moment he realised with a most profound sense of urgency that he _needed_ her. So. Much.

He wasn’t like his father.

He didn’t pick a fight just for the hell of it.

Tony cleared his throat and immediately busied himself with the rest of the chest’s contents, worriedly wondering that if he denied it so much, was it because he truly was?

 

That night he tossed and turned, but couldn’t sleep.

A sense of disquiet had taken over him in the afternoon, and he couldn’t shake off the funny feeling that he was on the cusp of something that was about to happen. Hell if he knew why that was. After returning from a gruelling mission, his bruised body had demanded nothing more than to snuggle down into his comfy orthopaedic bed, which is where he was now. So why couldn’t he sleep?

He tried not to glare at the obvious reason for that, refusing to turn his head in that direction.

Pepper wasn’t lying beside him, that’s why. She’d gone home after reassuring herself that he was relatively unhurt. He felt like a little boy again as he watched her leave, feeling sad that he’d done something wrong. _Bad boy_.

_Stop it, Howard, he is not a bad boy – Tony you didn’t do anything wrong, honey._

Tony had asked Pepper if she was mad at him, and she assured him in that cool tone of voice that she had no reason to be. But to his mind it sounded like: there is no reason for me to _be_ mad at you, but that doesn’t mean that I’m _not_.

Of course life would have it that the only woman he had ever fallen in love with, in the most adult and truest sense of the term, would also be the one to reduce him to feeling like a scolded five year old again. She humbled him. There couldn’t possibly be anyone else out there, for him, more right than Pepper. He just wished it wasn’t so _painful_ being so much in love with her, being so much in need of her presence in his life. He’d found the stabilising rock that held him grounded once more, only for the second time in his life. And he was getting paranoid.

Because look what happened the first time.

Grrr. Why couldn’t he stop thinking about something bad happening to Pepper?

She just needed to move him with him, that’s all, he tried to reason. Then he wouldn’t worry about her safety so much, because no house in Malibu was safer than his, with JARVIS manning the security systems.

Stop it, Stark. She’ll move in when she’s ready.

 

Get.

To.

Sleep. _Damnit_!

 

He huffed and turned gingerly onto his side. And then he sat bolt upright. He had never been startled so badly inside his own home, so this was like having a mini heart attack. There was a woman standing not ten feet away from the bed, watching him.

 

“Who the hell are you? How’d you get inside my home? JARVIS-“

 

“Oh, do shut up. How do you talk and talk and _talk_ so much, human? Can you hear at all yourself thinking over the noise of your chatter?”

Tony blinked owlishly. What the wh-

 

“Who are you?”

 

The woman – who by the way was breathtaking but in a strange sort of way, and he wasn’t interested whatsoever, because he was faithfully set on being a one-woman (or more likely only-Pepper) kind of guy. Plus she was staring at him, and it made him squirm. He felt like he was back in that cave. He felt like his life was no longer his own, being scrutinised by her as he was now.

 

She did not open her mouth again, but somehow his brain could hear her voice.

 

_I have come to exact retribution, Anthony, upon your head. You have insulted that which I hold most dear, and you are a deplorable human for ever wishing so badly of them. You have slighted me personally in your slurs against them, and now I am come to extort from you that which I feel could only be justice. I have come to make you feel the very thing you never wanted to feel in your life._

Tony remained silent.

JARVIS too, remained silent. And that was ominous. Either she’d found a way to shut him down, and that’s how she got inside his home undetected in the first place, or…

He was simply dreaming.

Yeah, that had to be it.

 

Her hair was so white it was the colour of the moonlight, though it fell long on her waist, and her face was that of a young woman in her prime. There was something almost unnatural about her eyes, but from this distance, Tony could only tell that they unsettled him, because he couldn’t make out what was probably a strange hue. They seemed to glow eerily across the bed to him, despite the darkness of the room. The light of his arc reactor barely seemed to touch her, as though it, too, didn’t dare to go near her.

 

_You think this is a dream? Very well, we shall see how you feel when you wake up._

 

For the first time Tony found his voice. If it was indeed a dream, then he could see no harm in talking to her. He ignored the spooked sensation on the nape of his neck and spoke. “Who are you? Why are you here?”

 

_You owe me a sacrifice. I have come to collect it now._

“What the hell does that mean? I’ve never seen you before in my entire life.” He spoke with much more strong conviction than he felt at that moment. Her looking at him made him want to burrow under the covers and hide from the monsters in the closet. He didn’t like it.

 

_Nor would you have ever laid eyes upon me, if it weren’t for the things you said this morning. Don’t be so arrogant as to assume in your presumption that I walk this earth meeting with creatures of your species!_

“I still don’t understa-“

 

_Be quiet human, and listen closely. You insulted the very existence of my beloved creatures, and wished a most heinous end to their existence on this earth. I cannot allow that to go unpunished. And your punishment will begin tomorrow, but who knows how long it will last?_

“What do you mean my pu- _what_ are you talking about? What punishment?!”

 

_You insulted that noblest and ancient creature, the equus nobilis, more vulgarly referred to as ‘horse’. And for that, you will be punished._

“How-“

 

_I said  listen, human!_

_You think I don’t know of the things you said and wished onto them? I have eyes and ears everywhere. You have your dear mother to thank for this, because it is my pendant, which was in her possession, that allowed me this discovery._

_What’s done is done. And now you must suffer the consequences._

Tony remained stonily silent, no longer wishing to remain asleep.

 

_One more thing, human._

_When was the last time you_ spoke _to your beloved? I would check up on her if I were you. Didn’t you have a bad feeling at the beginning of the night? Believe me, it is justified._

_We’ll meet again, soon._

And Tony bolted upright. He felt the mattress under him, and the sheets had twisted around his body, smothering all movement. He was sweating, and felt the chill of the night air. His bedroom looked innocently as it always did, minus absurd to believe intruders. He ordered JARVIS to turn on the lights, and blinked blearily at the change from dark to light.

 

“JARVIS, has anyone broken inside the house?”

 

“I cannot imagine that anyone ever would, sir. Your flawless design for security measures along with my impeccable execution is fool-proof against all unauthorised persons entering the grounds.”

 

Tony breathed shakily. “Perhaps, if you allow me so, sir, you simply had a nightmare? I’m picking up signs of distress in your breathing and heart rate at the moment, and since you were asleep until a minute ago, you have had a nightmare.”

 

Tony felt dazed. “Yeah…you’re right. Always the logical one, JARVIS. Thanks.”

 

“I exist to serve and please, sir.”

 

Tony ignored what may have been a little sarcasm on JARVIS’ part and lay down again. Being half three in the morning, of course it was impossible for him to pick up the phone and-

Ho, no you can’t do that, Stark. She’s asleep. And you’re just being paranoid, she’s perfectly alright, otherwise JARVIS would have alerted you immediately, as per your instructions.

He needed to get some rest, pronto.

But the sense of chilled disquiet would not relent its hold.

Without knowing how it happened, Tony fell asleep.

 

The next thing he knew was that JARVIS was chiming in his usual waking up morning ritual. Tony looked at the time and felt thankful that he’d managed to get to sleep in the end.

He roused himself and set about dressing.

He didn’t know why he was doing things particularly quickly today, since there were no pressing matters to attend to on his agenda, and Pepper wasn’t there to rush him along.

And that’s when he recalled the weird dream he’d had. Tony frowned. He must have been more tired than he thought because that had been one hell of an imaginative dream. At least he’d dreamed of a beautiful woman, instead of dreaming of a beautiful man, he reasoned with himself.

 

But now the unsettled feeling in the pit of his stomach was back. He went downstairs and for ten minutes he wandered from spot to spot, from room to room, purposelessly. He didn’t know what to do with himself, and the tension inside him demanded that he move continuously.

Tony grabbed his phone and dialled her number.

As the phone rang, and the seconds ticked by, he began to grow more agitated, because it had never happened that she delayed so much in answering that phone of hers, which was practically an extension of her arm and joined at her hip.

 

Tony tried to tell himself, rationally, that nothing  was wrong, even if things were out of the ordinary, that she could have had a hundred different reasons for not answering right away. Next he rang her house phone, but still no luck. He became more frustrated when her voicemail kicked in, and left her a terse message. Perhaps she was in the shower. Yeah, that was it, she was just in the shower and couldn’t obviously get to either phone. He should just wait a little longer, and then she’d call him back.

All the same, he made sure with JARVIS that his schedule that day did not require him to show up to meetings and briefings over at the company.

 

Half an hour later Tony was definitely worried, and practically vibrated in agitated tension. She still hadn’t called back, and he didn’t know how many times he’d called her. Suddenly he snapped. The growing sick feeling in his stomach told him he’d wasted enough time as it was, and that he had to get over there _now_.

He quickly had JARVIS run a search of her phone’s location with GPS, and he confirmed that her phone was in her residence. Grabbing his own phone and the jacket, Tony sped out of the garage, tires squealing. He had a bad feeling about this.

 

Navigating the early morning traffic was no problem to him, and soon he was parked outside her house. When he rang the doorbell, one of the tenants let him up, and he bounded up those stairs like the devil was after him, too anxious to bear being closed inside a slow elevator. Reaching her landing, he noticed the first thing. Her door was closed, and there were no signs of breaking and entering. He quickly checked her security system with his Starkphone, and was satisfied to see that nothing had indeed happened. He’d installed the security system himself, with a relay feed travelling back to JARVIS that kept him alert at all times.

He had the spare key inside his jeans pocket, and he used it to open the door. Inside the hallway, no immediate signs of anything wrong were present. He quickly stepped into the living room, and saw that it was very dark. The curtains she pulled closed every night were still drawn from last night, he assumed. He touched nothing, but noted the flash of her voicemail light blinking.

“Pepper?”

He walked her rooms calling her, his voice raising gradually, his heart in his throat. She wasn’t in the kitchen, but then he noticed something out of the corner of his eye. If it weren’t for the bright contrast of red on light surface, he probably wouldn’t have noticed immediately. He felt his blood run cold, a difficult feat with the arc reactor running inside his chest. There were broken shards of glass on the floor surrounding what looked to be juice of some kind. And there was a bright red slash on one of the cupboard doors. It was blood. And it was dry.

“PEPPER! Where are you?!”

 

Tony quickly left the kitchen and headed towards her bedroom. On the way there he stopped momentarily to look at the small table in the corridor. Its contents were spilled haphazardly across the surface, and the rest lay scattered on the floor. Including her phone, which had a small crack on the screen, and flashed repeatedly from unanswered incoming calls. His calls. He practically banged the door to her bedroom open, lungs seizing as he imagined her lying on the floor, hurt or unconscious. But there was no one there. Her bed was unmade with the a corner of the duvet pulled back slightly. But it didn’t look like anyone had slept in it last night.

“Oh god, what-“

 

_What the hell happened?!_

**_Where_ ** _is she?_

Her clothes from yesterday were neatly folded on the armchair next to the dresser, but her shoes were laying one behind the chair, the other under the window. It didn’t make any sense. He couldn’t find her pyjamas anywhere, so she must still have had them on when-

 

When what, damn it?!

 

The en-suite bathroom door was slightly open, and he shuddered because he knew that logically there was no other place for her to be. He ate up the steps and slammed that door open as well.

He froze. And his heart seemed to all but sink down to the pit of his stomach.

 

Her pyjama pants lay discarded on the floor, but they were torn and the bright red on the pale blue was sickening. It, too, was dry here.

No Pepper.

He was losing his mind, he knew he was, he knew he’d go crazy if he didn’t know where she was right this second-

 

Her car had been parked in its usual spot, so what- oh, god he couldn’t think straight. Her phone was still in her house, as were her keys and wallet. Her car was still outside. There was no sign of anyone breaking inside her apartment, but no sign of Pepper either. And there were traces of blood in two of the rooms of her house, even a pair of dismantled pyjama pants. But that was all. There was no sign of her. Like she’d just disappeared.

Tony sought and fought to remain calm. She needed him to remain calm.

 

He quickly backed out into the corridor, intent on knocking on every door of the building to see if anyone had seen her- but then he noticed her standing next to the windows in her study.

And for a second, his mind could not comprehend what it was he was seeing, because this was a nightmare, this was the nightmare he’d had last night, it wasn’t real, she-

 

She couldn’t be standing there in her home.

And yet there she stood.

White-haired woman.

And the smile on her face, all gleaming teeth and mocking triumph screamed to him of danger, and assault, because he would-

_Sit down, Anthony._

_And no, this isn’t a dream. I told you that last night._

**Author's Note:**

> This fic is a gift for the Valentine's Day Gift Exchange Challenge at the LiveJournal its-always-been Community.  
> The fic is gifted to Marienomad, who wanted a story where: "Pepper being turned into a horse. She could not talk, but Tony knows about it. She will not be a magical pony but a regular horse. If she's a regular pony, that's okay too."  
> I made a lovely banner for this fic, which you can see here if you wish: http://pics.livejournal.com/vespertinesoul/pic/0002k48z
> 
> DISCLAIMER:  
> I don't own the main characters, just the plot. IRON MAN is property of MARVEL and associates, no copyright infringement intended. This is an original work of fan fiction.


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